His private prison

He stood in the dark room, wondering what he was doing there. Everything was extra clear to him, like he was living in technicolour. Even the dank, cracked grey walls seemed to glow with enhanced clarity...every scratch, every weird brown spot more well-defined than it was supposed to be, somehow. He turned towards the door and walked towards it, suddenly wanting out of there. As he walked, the walls of the room seemed to be pressing down upon him...the need to get out, Out, OUT growing with every step...he began to walk faster, jog, sprint...the door seemed only to be getting further and further away...somehow he couldn't make himself move...his muscles disobeying him, weighing him down! Frustration filled him, rising higher and higher in his chest...suddenly unbearable...he had to let IT out SOMEHOW...opened his mouth and screamed again and again, fear and rage combining in rising volumes...still running as hard as he could...suddenly he was there! At last....relief flooded through him as he reached for the dirty, rusted door knob, and...it wouldn't turn! LOCKED! "NOOOOO!!!" His desperation ripped out of him in torn, anguished sound...something was gonna happen, he knew it, something BAD! Screaming again and again, he pounded on the door...finally giving up and sliding to the bottom, frustration trickling away into despair...lying just like that, face down, in the dirt and dust on the floor...and then, through the clouded mist around his consciousness, he heard it. A soft, whispered step on the floor behind him. RIGHT behind him! Panic rose again in an unbearable wave, scrabbling up from the floor as fast as he possibly could, whipping around while curling into a defensive crouch, teeth bared in preparation for a desperate struggle, eyes wide as they could be, he saw - her. His tiny, fragile, achingly beautiful daughter...beautiful black ringlets of hair framing her almost too-white, doll-like face...wide, baby-blue eyes staring up at him, confused, afraid..."Father?" She said in a small, fearful voice. "Is everything all right?" Realizing how he must be looking to her, he quickly stood back up, all fear and pain forgotten, love gently flooding his heart...his chapped, dry lips breaking into a beatific smile as he rushed towards her and scooped her in his arms..."Of course it is, baby. Of course it is..."

"Whoa!" James shot up from where he had been dozing in his chair as, once again, the screams echoed from the building. "God! I nearly jumped outta my skin! Is it always this bad?" "Yeah...you'll get used to it," the older, more experienced security guard said coolly. "After all, what else can you expect from a crazy house, huh?" "Whatever, maan...it's either that, or pretty soon it'll be me in there screaming my head off with the rest of 'em!" They laughed together, the sound somehow out of sync with the oppressive atmosphere as, inside somewhere, the screams started all over again...

He held her close, burying his face in her neck, inhaling deeply her scent of lilac and daisies..."I love you, baby...don't ever, EVER leave me again...look what happened to daddy when you weren't around...promise me you'll never go anywhere without daddy again...promise?" "Of course, daddy!" she said...her voice the most beautiful music he had ever heard. "I love you, too!" The words hit him hard...ecstasy bursting in his chest as the dank, dark cell around him seemed to vanish, bright spring sunshine bursting in, blinding him....angrily he widened his eyes...he didn't want to miss even one second of looking upon this beautiful, tiny Goddess! Without warning the darkness rose again, threatening to destroy him entirely, he could feel the screams clawing upwards towards his throat....his heart began to thud, fear gripping him again...and then he could see again. His daughter looking at him...so loving...a worried frown creasing her brow..."What is it father?" He smiled then, the awe filling him again as he looked upon her in the light...every aspect of that amazing face shining out at him with such clarity...he could barely absorb it all...in pure ecstatic bliss he laughed out loud, free....so free!

"Dude! This just keeps getting freakier!" James was visibly shaken by the manic laughter that resounded through the hallways now. "Yeah, that's a new one...it's the new guy." The other guard, too, didn't look so nonchalant anymore. "Been like this every single night since he was brought here. Almost two weeks now and I'm still SO not used to it! Oh and by the way, we might have to go quieten him down if he stays this way, OK? Yeah. And trust me, that is NOT fun at all. Jabbing needles into screaming, thrashing men isn't anyone's idea of a fun night activity! Why d'you think the other guy quit?" "Oh maan....no kidding!" was the tortured response. "God help me...new guy? Oh yeah, i read something about that one in the paper...his daughter died or something right? Is that what sent him off his rocker?"

He held her at arm's length, filling his eyes with that unbelievable vision...afraid to blink, almost...his eyes filling with tears...blocking his vision! Angrily he wiped them away...and looked back at-Nothing! The blank walls of the room stared back at him, each crack, each scratch an evil, triumphant smile...celebrating his loss...and then suddenly something caught his eye. A flash of something bright...in the darkest corner, a prostrate figure...he ran there, his legs still strangely leaden, and looked down expectantly...and then he was blank. Frozen for one long, infinite moment...before, without really absorbing it, he felt his face crumple into depair...his legs giving out...sinking down next to her...his daughter...except that there was no trace of her in the lifeless, cold eyes staring back at him. The anguish filled him all over again...tears ran down his eyes...feeling every open wound in her defiled, destroyed body lacerate HIM...physical pain combining with the torture he was already feeling. Howling like a mad dog all over again, he crashed to the floor, banging himself against the walls....ripping at his clothes...his hair...

"Alright, I think that's our cue," the guard said and stood up. "Let's go." James took a deep, shaky breath. "K...but dude, this is something i SO don't wanna do!" He sighed and got up, and they began walking towards the dark building, the menace almost physically tangible to him. To get his mind of it, he spoke. "Anyways, dude, you didn't tell me-what's his story?" The other guard gave him a strange look. "You really wanna know? Trust me, ignorance IS bliss." "Come on dude...it can't be all THAT bad!" James said, an unsure half-smile on his face."Nope, it ain't. It's worse. Don't tell me I didn't warn you! Yeah, his daughter did die...but that isn't what drove him up the wall. He was pretty much a goner since quite sometime before that! Schizophrenia. Horrible. You know how his daughter died? She was killed. HE killed her. 'Multiple knife wounds'...wife had left him long before that...they didn't even realize it 'til like a week later...found him lying right next to her, both of 'em covered in blood...I have a friend in the Force was telling me about it...like a scene straight from hell, he said. Happy now? Let's go." "Dude! What in hell have I gotten myself into? I really have a bad feeling about this..." James muttered as he reluctantly followed his new colleague into the forbidding interiors of the asylum...

He lay all alone, in his own private prison...his daughter still next to him, right there...even in waking, she never left...everything gone. All alone...all alone...that was all that he was aware of now. All alone in his misery. Nothing, NOTHING to alleviate his loneliness. They would be here soon, he knew...with their needles...at least they gave him some temporary peace. He waited...and then, like a bolt from the blue, it struck him. It was THEM! THEY had killed his daughter...and now they were out to get him! His enemies had finally caught up with him! And then suddenly all fear was gone. If death was coming for him, he would welcome it. He had nothing left to live for, anyway. But he wouldn't give them the satisfaction of winning. No! He smiled suddenly as he came to a decision. This time, THEY would die screaming. And then he would, too, but like a man. By his own hand. But first, THEY would pay for his daughter's death. He heard the steps outside his door, muted voices approaching cautiously...he stood up. His hands would be enough at first. And then...whatever they carried. He smiled again, baring his teeth in a vicious, animal show of aggression, letting the demons take possession of him. This time, no one would walk away. THIS time....

"Maan, you sure about this? It's awful quiet now...let's just go back?" James asked hopefully as they approached the door. "Nah kid. Relax. He usually quiets down towards the end...a quick in and out. No worries!" Grinning confidently, he slid the key into the lock and swung the door open...